AFTER some THOUGHT

Remember when life was simple? When good and evil existed? When there was the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do? The right things to say and the wrong things to say? For me, that was all before Derrida.

But in my state of humanity (which I seem, for the time being at least, locked into with none but one unthinkable escape), I constantly try to get back to that "golden age." To when things could be settled with a type of duality that really only makes sense to children and American voters. And as I'm neither an American voter nor a child, looking at life through the bifocals of duality is not an option. Never the less, I have crafted a thought. Well, more like condensed something complex into something simpler.

I used to believe that there are people who want to help you and people who want to hinder you. Then I grew up. And now I see that there are people who hurt you and people who help you. All I had to do was take out their intentions.

But Doug, sometimes people DO want to hurt you or help you. Yes. Sometimes. Not all the time. What I'm driving at here is this: there are people in the world who hurt us, thinking that they are helping and the vice versa, people who help us thinking that they are hurting us and everything in between. Furthermore, to the meat of the argument, sometimes the people who hurt you are the same people who help you, and those who help, hurt you. It does me no good to lump people into one category or the other. And it makes it easier to forgive those who've wronged me in the past.

By this I mean, I realize there is no certainty, especially where it concerns people. People do all kinds of strange things with no justification and my own perception of anther's motivation is always going to be suspect if I group people into categories of "hurts me" or "helps me." It allows me to be taken advantage of and it allows me to take advantage, like some god-damned opportunist. This is not who I am or what I want to be. The bottom line is both groups have the potential to do both actions.

So unless you are a complete and total screw up in life, it's impossible for me to hold a grudge. Your intentions toward me, as well as my own perception of your intentions are useless in the end. The only thing I can control with 100% certainty are my own intentions.

If all I want in life is to be happy, then I make adjustments to that end. Simple.

So summery: Good/Bad? No. Good=Bad/Bad=Good? Yes.
Always forgiveness? Yes. Unless trespasser psychotic.

:)