tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-139774492024-03-06T19:48:19.154-08:00Doug's MS JournalThis journal is a log of my progression though MS. It is intended for my doctors, friends, family, myself, or anyone who may benefit from what I log or anyone who may care about what's happening to me physically or emotionally. However this is strictly about my disease and its effects, off topic comments will be delt with.
There is a wealth of info in this blog on the disease, dig through the archives. Thanks for the visit!Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.comBlogger127125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-41265519328283584192008-08-16T23:49:00.000-07:002008-08-17T00:13:57.382-07:00Back again... for how long?It's been what feels like years since I've updated here. I don't know why I decided to come back except that I am experiencing a great number of medical problems (99% not MS related as far as I know) and I wanted to keep a record of what's going on. Mainly for my sanity I think but also to make sure I don't overlook or forget anything the next time I am at a doctor's office.<br /><br />First and foremost, I'm in limbo. I have no family doctor and I've had trouble getting one. Same deal with the Neurologist, although I do have an app with one next spring in Montreal. So I've been surviving by going to clinics when I need too.<br /><br />Enough of that, here's what is going on now:<br />nasty eye infection in both eyes - I figure I got it from my contacts because I've been getting sloppy with my hand washing, in fact I don't to it all anymore so that explains how it spread. Where it comes from take your pick, this week I've swam in a dirty lake, been around children... who knows. I got and I'm using some antibiotic eye drops I got from a doctor at a clinic here in Prince Albert, Sask. Oh yeah, I'm in PA by the way. Until Monday. Been here all summer... long story.<br /><br />I have tinnitus in my left ear from where the above doctor scraped wax out of my ear with crazy metal thing causing trauma of some type. He started the right ear but it hurt so bad I stopped him. And now my right ear can't handle pressure - it pains like crazy. Which is very bad timing on my part because I'm flying home to NS in about 32 hours. I hope all this ear stuff heals before then. Unlikely. That flight is going to be the worst ever.<br /><br />The reason he was poking around my ears was to check for infection because I have a nasty throat infection which I'm taking an antibiotic for. That's doing a lot better though. Through the worst of it I think, but it's left we weekend and tired and mentally drained.<br /><br />These things are being dealt with, however. This one isn't until I get home:<br /><br />About 2 weeks ago I had a really bad pimple on my body, I tried to pop it but made it so worse. I didn't pop and I was left in a lot of pain. The pain eventually subsided after a few days but it left a painful lump with a rash. It is not mostly healed but around the area of original zit I have about 30 more smaller ones that seem to come and then look like they are getting better but then they don't. And even worse it's spreading. Right now all of this area is nothing more than a pest, itching a lot and looking rather displeasing to me. I've been obsessed with it, tying to find out what it could be online. Everything I found led me crazy assumptions of what it is. I still don't really know but it's my top priority after all this other stuff is taken care of. I have to get it before it gets way out of control. I should have dealt with this when it first happened but again why I didn't is a long story.<br /><br />Finally, I have an appointment that was a summer in the making, I noticed a hard cyst where there shouldn't be one and I have an appointment for an ultra sound on the 25th of August. Hopefully this isn't cancer. <br /><br />Despite all that I believe I've been experiencing lost of small MS symptoms. Sensitive skin, painful to the touch and some shooting pain through old MS areas. Nothing I can't handle. I expected worse to tell you the truth, I've been lucky this far that nothing serious has happened with my MS since the major one a few years ago. Go me. If I could just go to the doctor when I fist notice something, maybe I wouldn't end up with multiple infections. Will I ever learn.<br /><br />I hope so. From now on I'm going to do something and I'm not going to feel like a burden on the health care system. I have a right to my health in this country, I'm going to embrace it.<br /><br />I still can't believe I let it get this far out of my hands. All of it. This is just ridiculous. No more procrastination on health issues. I swear I'm going to be the death of me.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-54052149690579319762007-09-23T12:04:00.001-07:002007-09-23T12:08:43.835-07:00WithdrawlSo I didn't take medication pretty much all weekend. So yes I'm getting pangs of withdrawl. It isn't pleasent. I didn't take it because I was drinking so much alcohol so yeah... It's actually smart that I didn't. But I realize I went a little too long and now I'm freaking out a bit for no reason over silly things--like being alone. At least I know what it is and I have a handle on it. I don't want to take anything now becuase it might make me sleepy and I don't want to fall asleep now because I'll be up all night. So I have a few more hours of unpleasent withdrawl to wheather. I just need to hang out with peeps. Problems is I don't know who to call. Rotten, dirty, withdrawl symptoms. Doing laundry and dishes will at least make me feel productive and help take my mind away from the woes.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-62331020567508298382007-07-17T19:24:00.001-07:002007-07-17T19:28:27.876-07:00Love Yourself - BecauseSomewhere in here, I stopped caring. <br /><br />Well all that's going to change. Starting tomorrow, or the next day. Time to make doctors appt.'s before I go back to Montreal: for good this time. I'm not coming back to CB again to live. Except to visit on holidays. I'm going cosmopolitan. Time to get some big city doctors now.<br /><br />Because I should and I deserve it.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-84565947020191180422007-07-10T20:19:00.000-07:002007-07-10T20:22:17.235-07:00Sick... again... :SSick... that's the theme of the last 2 days... <br /><br />Not really sick but wierd sick. For example, I couldn't eat. I just wasn't interested in food for some reason. So anyone who was looking for me, correction, anyone who was looking for me and still reads this blog, that is why you couldn't find me. <br /><br />But I am feeling better. And I ate today, so it's getting better whatever it was.<br /><br />Cheers.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-38726115352732064582007-06-22T14:43:00.000-07:002007-06-22T15:06:11.499-07:00AFTER some THOUGHTRemember when life was simple? When good and evil existed? When there was the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do? The right things to say and the wrong things to say? For me, that was all before Derrida.<br /><br />But in my state of humanity (which I seem, for the time being at least, locked into with none but one unthinkable escape), I constantly try to get back to that "golden age." To when things could be settled with a type of duality that really only makes sense to children and American voters. And as I'm neither an American voter nor a child, looking at life through the bifocals of duality is not an option. Never the less, I have crafted a thought. Well, more like condensed something complex into something simpler.<br /><br />I used to believe that there are people who want to help you and people who want to hinder you. Then I grew up. And now I see that there are people who hurt you and people who help you. All I had to do was take out their intentions.<br /><br />But Doug, sometimes people DO want to hurt you or help you. Yes. Sometimes. Not all the time. What I'm driving at here is this: there are people in the world who hurt us, thinking that they are helping and the vice versa, people who help us thinking that they are hurting us and everything in between. Furthermore, to the meat of the argument, sometimes the people who hurt you are the same people who help you, and those who help, hurt you. It does me no good to lump people into one category or the other. And it makes it easier to forgive those who've wronged me in the past.<br /><br />By this I mean, I realize there is no certainty, especially where it concerns people. People do all kinds of strange things with no justification and my own perception of anther's motivation is always going to be suspect if I group people into categories of "hurts me" or "helps me." It allows me to be taken advantage of and it allows me to take advantage, like some god-damned opportunist. This is not who I am or what I want to be. The bottom line is both groups have the potential to do both actions.<br /><br />So unless you are a complete and total screw up in life, it's impossible for me to hold a grudge. Your intentions toward me, as well as my own perception of your intentions are useless in the end. The only thing I can control with 100% certainty are my own intentions.<br /><br />If all I want in life is to be happy, then I make adjustments to that end. Simple.<br /><br />So summery: Good/Bad? No. Good=Bad/Bad=Good? Yes.<br />Always forgiveness? Yes. Unless trespasser psychotic.<br /><br />:)Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-42175081887518649612007-06-21T11:59:00.001-07:002007-06-21T12:06:42.926-07:00Quick UpdateI'm not sure if I'm going to spell this right, but I have a reiki session scheduled for the 30th of June. I don't buy into it. But my friends do. It can't do me any harm so what the hell. Stranger things have happened.<br /><br />I find staying fit and eating right, getting the proper amount of rest and exercise pretty much keeps this disease in control. And any slight problems I have I deal with. I don't let it get me down and I stay positive. And in this way, I've been able to stay off my Rebif for near 8 months now and they were the best 8 months of my life. <br /><br />Still, I have been neglecting modern medicine. I've not scheduled the appointments I need nor taken the medication prescribed to me and I refuse to go to the hospital for treatment when needed. Somehow, I feel stronger and more alive than ever with no side effects. I'm thinking about just getting a physical to make sure everything is in order, to put an end to questions lingering. But I really do feel fine. <br /><br />I made it to Taiji on Tuesday and I did 40 min of group meditation, which was just what I needed. I felt at peace and full of love after it was done. It was beautiful. Spirit=cleansed. Mind=mostly cleansed. Body=cleansed. I'm near as healthy as I can be.<br />Cheers.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-88972231867736975552007-05-22T08:18:00.000-07:002007-05-22T08:25:16.703-07:00Flashes of lightFor the last few weeks I've been getting random flashes of light in my bad eye. As if some invisible signalman where trying to reach me. Eye open, eye closed--doesn't matter. The poet in me is trying to make me believe it is tied to something metaphysical. But my skeptic won't allow it. Thinking about this illness from the point of view of ancient man, it appears some spirit or other is after me, throwing bolts of lightning at my brain. <br /><br />Nothing I can do but use it in my words, words, words... Just a recording the occurrence in case it's important later.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-34364632419157798792007-03-26T18:04:00.000-07:002007-03-26T18:06:37.937-07:00Been a while...I've been ignoring this blog about as much as I've been ignoring my disease...<br /><br />Just got over a nasty sinus infection... didn't need any meds... but it was disgusting... don't want to do that again... lumpy-greeny-slimly-and chunky (yeah chunky) goop. Ewwww.... I won't go into detail. Much better now, however... thank god.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-46515294495808436542006-12-13T22:22:00.000-08:002006-12-13T19:23:39.983-08:00Muscle stiffnessMy left masseter muscle seems a bit tense. It's been bothering me but not preventing me from normal opperations. It might just be from some of the neck strenghtening and lengthening exercises I did the other day with Joanne Abbot. I hope so. If so I don't expect it to be still stiff tomorrow or at least by Friday. However, I havn't ruled out MS completely yet. Just thought it was something to note, but not worry about.<br /><br />Cheers.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-32532947439426987722006-12-02T15:36:00.000-08:002006-12-02T15:38:33.576-08:00Vomit.Got food poisioning last night. Havn't felt like that since Victoria when I was coming off prednisone: the same psycho heart burn. At least this time I knew what it was and I didn't panik and run to the Emergancy room. Mostly fine now. Just tired. :) Happy days though in between all the vomit nonsense. <br /><br />Cheers.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1159745122576514832006-10-01T19:20:00.000-07:002006-10-01T16:25:22.590-07:00ouchMy stomach is in knots. I'm trying very hard not to throw-up. Nausia comes in waves. My foot is cramping on it's own. I think I'm under too much stress. I need sleep. Possibly that's all it is. I was fine up until supper time. I didn't eat lunch then at supper way too fast. I've felt sick since then. I didn't get to do my laundry as a result. My calves are really sore. I keep getting cold and then too hot. <br /><br />I hope I'm not getting sick. This could be very bad. Very bad indeed.<br /><br />:(Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1156429199679820282006-08-24T11:15:00.000-07:002006-08-24T07:19:59.756-07:00Canadian Collaborative Project on Genetic Susceptibility in Multiple Sclerosis (CCPGSMS)I've been invited by Dr. Mandat Maharaj, on behalf of the Dalhousie Multiple Sclerosis Research Unit, to participate in a research study on the above title. Apparently I have been "assessed as being eligible" for the study and it is inclusive of 15 clinics nation wide. The idea behind the study is to "ascertain more clearly the specific genes involved in MS, as well as any environmental factors which may play a role." I guess in order to find a cure we have to find a cause. I don't see why I wouldn't participate. It's my future we're talking about here.<br /><br />Now maybe it's just bias, as I have a vested interest, but it seems to me that scientists who study the mating habits of endangered fruit flies of the Amazon are a waste of a scientific brain. This venture seems to me totally worth while. And while they may ask for multiple blood samples and god knows what else, I just can't say no to good research that may help me and people like me. As Canada has one of the highest rates of MS in the world, if not the highest, we should naturally be one of the leaders in the fight for a cure. At least that's how I see it.<br /><br />So now I just have to wait for this Alberta Schaap or Cindy McCarron to call me. I hope they do soon because in two days I'll be living in Montreal. :)<br /><br />So I guess the next step is to find out who my fathers real family is so I can give them all the required information. I never thought I'd have to do that. And I have to, because it's good research, and I don't mind tearing though a few layers of emotional pain and discomfort to find a cure one day. If my suffering will prevent someone's pain in the future then so be it, eh? This is essentially it: my (birth) father is an asshole--he was adopted--don't know him, or his real family, know that one of his blood brothers lives in North Sydney, and another lives in Donkin. That's the best place to start. oooo... I feel like a detective... Just like law & order. hehehe. The difficult part is that I'm going to have to do all of this from Montreal--in my spare time, which is going to be almost nil.<br /><br />And that's that, I guess.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1156117883964828292006-08-20T20:49:00.000-07:002006-08-20T16:51:23.976-07:00More UpdatesBack on the rebif tonight. Have to get the following tests done before I leave in a week.<br /><br />-25 hidroxy vitamin D<br />-Cholesterol & Triglycerides profile (which requires a 12 hour fast)<br /><br />Yay. Lucky me. :)<br /><br />All the news.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1155688343209661282006-08-15T21:27:00.000-07:002006-08-15T17:32:23.240-07:00ReportBig day today. A lot happend. The morning was another up too early thanks to me going to bed too late last night and forgetting to put my keys on the key rack which promts my up too early for work dad to wake me way to early to look for them. I wish I'd just remember to do that when I'm out late.<br /><br />So I had an appointment with a "new" neurologist today; well he was the one that seen me the first time, 5 years ago, and couldn't find anything wrong with me. It was just my one year checkup to see how far my MS is progressing. The news is all good. My eyesight with my glasses on is 20/20 in my right eye, 20/25 in my left 'blind' eye which has about 80-85% of its vision back. All my reflexes were good, my gait is good, minimal problems with bladder and bowel, spasticity is 'ok' and there were only a few problems with my left side which is a little sluggish to respond to commands. All and all a successful visit.<br /><br />As it turns out, Dr. Maharaj is also an actor/director and did a lot of work in the Carabien, so we had some good conversation about theatre during the check up. Interesting man, and I didn't hold it against when he couldn't find anything wrong with me because he threw the book at me as far as check lists go: I'm getting my cholestoral checked and my vitaman D level, I still can't remember why. And I got a prescription for Vitamen D supplaments. Merm... whatever. I'll take 'em I guess. He said to take them with tums. I guess they are hard on the tummy.<br /><br />When I got to Judo tonight I was feeling pretty good and I over did it, just a bit. Yeah. Tonight was the closest I've come to throwing up from a work out in my life. I'm gonna be sore in the morning. But I've been feeling so down about not being able to run 5 miles anymore, I just want to know I can still be in shape and still fight my best if I so choose. I guess I'll have to suffer through some painful workouts until my body can handle it. <br /><br />I'm leaving in 12 days for Montreal. I still have to get a referral to a GP up there so I can get in touch with a neuro doc and a clinic--of which Montreal has some of the best in Canada--and then sent the info to here so they can send my files up to Montreal. Nothing like supplanting my entire medical team in only a couple weeks. Yay. lol<br /><br />It was funny giving my medical history to Maharaj. He asked about my first attack. I told him all about it. Then he asked if I had seen a neurologist. I said Yes. He said here? I said yes. He said who did you see? I said -- YOU. hahaha. He said... w.w wah.. I didn't find anything?<br />nope?<br />Did I send you for an MRI<br />no<br />we didn't have one here then<br />no<br />so you would have had to go to Halifax for that then<br />yup<br />oh, so don't be too hard on me about not finding anything then<br />*I laugh--politely*<br /><br />And that's pretty much how that went. I always get so nervious when I go to those and they are examining you and talking to the nuse telling her what they want done in forign medical language that sounds like military talk. I get the shakes when anyone looks into my eyes with lights like that and he spent a lot of time there, like he found something wrong. It always freaks me out. But he liked what he saw and I was out of there in 30 min. Met a real nice lady in the waiting area too. She told me she had an optic neuritis in both her eyes and was partially crippled with her right leg and could hardly walk--a scary glimpse into the future. I felt so bad for her--such a rare thing to have both eyes out. And she seemed really worried about it not coming back. God, what a shit disease. I can still do Judo though (Brown belt--oh yeah) and I'm going to acting school. Life ain't over yet, man. Life ain't over.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1154896710134749562006-08-06T17:33:00.000-07:002006-08-06T13:38:30.153-07:00murmI guess I'm ok. My mind is squrming a bit, my eyes feel like they are dancing and my breath feels short. Of course, everything is fine--my pulse is good, my lungs are ok.. in fact the only thing out of order seems to be I'm not getting enough sleep. I blame all my discomfort on that.<br /><br />I'm almost out of rebif. I didn't do anything about getting any more yet. I assume my clinic on the 14th will yeild a new perscription. If so, I'm only going to miss one or two doses on the sunday before it and maybe the tuesday possibly the thursday. Missing a week won't kill me so I'll just bring it up at my appointment that my perscription is up. <br /><br />I also have to find out what I'm doing to psyc council in Montreal. My appt. for that isn't until the 26th (I'm leaving on the 28th--nothing like cutting it close). <br /><br />I'm hoping to get out tonight, when the energy comes up, to get around for a long walk. I tried running the other day and haven't felt good since then. So I think I'll stick with my walking despite my longing for a good run. Sometimes I can do it.. other times.. meh... C'est le vie.<br /><br />Pray for sleep and a quite mind. Those are the only things escaping me at the moment. Need that energy. Good, clean, positive energy. Been a while since I had that. :)Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1153940295208898112006-07-26T15:53:00.000-07:002006-07-26T11:58:15.226-07:00Not much change.Little of the same today. The mornings seem to suck but once I get up and moving the stiffness goes away and I feel great. Movement. That's the key. Can't give up moving if you want to stay active. Sounds like simple common sense but looking at a set of stairs when you're MS is kicking your ass... not that easy then.<br /><br />A little sore today, I think because of a combination of Meds and Judo. I actually made it in a little late but I had a decent workout. I like how working out makes your body forget things. It focuses your mind and I can always just go for a run if I'm feeling like jumping out ' my skin, ya know? Brings me back to breathing. Simple breathing. For Zen and long life. :)<br /><br />But I'm just getting ready to go sailing right now. Have a race to win. Gotta take some pain killers, tie up some sails and have a blast! Gotta keep moving. Gotta keep moving. That's the thing.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1153841363878410062006-07-25T12:24:00.000-07:002006-07-25T08:29:24.240-07:00SpasticWell after a good month of feeling amazing the MS has finally caught up with me. At least I managed to get my brown belt. That's a big accomplishment so I'm happy about that. Today I'm dealing with a ton of pain in my left leg. It's gone spastic and the muscles have stretched out my tendons and I can't stretch my foot out like normal. I can walk, albeit a little painfully, but I doubt I'd be much good for running, biking, swimming, or judo. Which sucks because I love doing all that stuff.<br /><br />My weight is good, whatever my shape has been saying. I must have lost muscle and gained my weight back in bad weight. Damn it. That's all I have to say about that.<br /><br />Breathing has been a little difficult the last few days, but today it is quite clear out. It must have been the shit weather causing the discomfort. That was making me a little depressed for a couple of days. But the sun seems to have cleared most of that up. Just have to deal with pain for now.<br /><br />I also have a slight ear infection. I noticed I couldn't hear as well out of my left ear and I had a sore throat the last few days. It's probably from swimming or something. But anyway, it's not bothering me that much, just a little bit of a nuisance. Of course all these little nuisances add up to major problems in the end. Maybe I will make an appointment.<br /><br />...As I'm making appointments, I have to get in touch with the clinic--my prescription of Rebif is almost out! EEK! And I have to locate a doctor in Montreal before I go. All this stuff I have to do. 4 weeks and I'm a Quebecer! Yay!!!!!Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1152823649963462502006-07-13T17:42:00.000-07:002006-07-13T13:47:29.980-07:00SuccessHow many people with MS find themsleves, a year and a half after diagnosis, preparing for a Brown Belt in Judo? I don't know the answer to that, but I'm glad to say I am. Despite being blind in one eye and having a ton of other symptoms, I'm still Alive (Pearl Jam reference - thanks Jamie.)<br /><br />This disease will never run me. Never dominate me. Never stop me from being what I was supposed to become. Never stop me from competing. Never stop me from being active. And I will never stop living with it, fighting it, accepting it for what it is, turning the other cheek when I'm knocked to the ground.<br /><br />Vive le resistance, vive la vie, vive moi!<br /><br />And I have 30 min to get to Judo class so I have to stop there! <br /><br />SUCCESS!!!Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1151603907618453472006-06-29T02:54:00.000-07:002006-06-29T10:58:27.636-07:00FinallyI finally got my bloodwork done. Sheesh. That was a long time coming. Feeling really good. Nothing to report health wise. Feeling a lot more in shape this week than last week. Must keep sailing and going to judo and taiji. Havn't been out running or biking much. Must get that going again too. That's all for now.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1151079075506258172006-06-23T01:07:00.000-07:002006-06-23T09:11:15.526-07:00Worst night in while...I got to sleep ok, but after about an hour or so, I woke up, shivering in a fever and couldn't get back to sleep. I lay in bed for god knows how long, totally awake and aware that I desperately need sleep to function but no matter what I try, can't get there. Take 2 extra strength tylonol, after 20 min, shaking stops. Can't sleep for another hour, sun will be up in a few minutes. Gus starts barking at nothing... and gus is loud, wakes the whole house up, he's spooked about something, still don't know what. I give in, get up, take some lorazapram, ly down again. This will work for sure. Woof. What the f....? GUS! Eventually fall alseep around 7am or so, wake up at 12, feeling like hell. All of this of course points to one thing:<br /><br />NEEDLE DAYS STILL SUCK DONKEY BALLS!!!!!Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1150929819935415502006-06-21T19:40:00.000-07:002006-06-21T15:43:39.976-07:00UpdateI'm proud of myself for last night. I survived 4 hours of intense martial arts training. Too bad today was a sloth day. I expected as much after that workout in addition to needle time which always makes me feel like I worked 10 times harder than I did. So yeah. It wouldn't be so bad if where I am living wasn't so damned noisey in the mornings. And I think that sword form did a number on my right buttock. haha. One really fancy move involving a crouch really twisted up that muscle in a funny way. Sitting down and walking hurt. So I guess that means no exercise today if I want to be alive for tomorrow.<br /><br />Basically I feel a little closer into shape thatn I have been after that. The fact that I survived all of that gave me confidence. Except that I took a good hard knee in the teeth it wasn't that bad. Albeit, I didn't go full out, just did what I could but I held my own and dished it out. :0 Yay. Go me!!! :DIain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1150819860114894962006-06-20T13:07:00.000-07:002006-06-20T09:11:00.173-07:00DammitI missed my appt. at the clinic. I totally forgot about it. Feck! I should call this afternoon and rebook. I've been slacking inthe health department. I'm out of shape, havn't been getting my regular blood tests and missing doses. But I've been getting good sleep, feel alright, and I'm slowly working back into a regular program. But I have to work harder at being on time and getting where I have to be, physically and mentally and otherwise. Just a little harder, not asking for much from myself. You'd think it would be easy. Guess not...Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1149883994125968502006-06-09T17:08:00.000-07:002006-06-09T13:13:14.140-07:00Bad few daysI'm exhausted, but I've hardly done anything. Haven't felt quite like myself the last 3 days. I've been pretty groggy. I hope this isn't a sign of something coming, everytime I've had a relapse or something I've been tired for days or weeks beforehand. <br /><br />What topples that is a new, potentialy serious, medical problem that is unrelated to MS. I'll have to get that checked out next week and see what that is all about. In the mean time, I've been in a lot of pain and so tired I can't really do anything, including work so I just have to survive a little longer and maybe things will clear up. <br /><br />I have to start sleeping better. That is a major problem. There is quite a bit of stress in my life right now as well. Dealing with things I never thought I'd have to deal with. Sometimes I can't breathe when I think about it, other times it all makes sense and I handle it well.<br /><br />Hopefully some energy will find me in the next couple of days. My Friday night is obviously shot to hell. So much for the best laid plans. :S <br /><br />I wish the sun would come out and the dampness would go for a bit. That might help with my mood. But there are more pression and concerning things to worry about for the now. Cheers.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1149283856615705812006-06-02T18:27:00.000-07:002006-06-02T14:49:15.563-07:00Fellow Artist Living with MSI cam across this story by Aaron Solowoniuk, the drummer for <a href="http://www.billytalent.com/bt_flash.html">Billy Talent</a>, and I thought it interesting enough to share here as his story is strikingly similar to mine.<br /><br /><br /><blockquote>...It was November of 1997, I had just started a new job at Chrysler building<br />the new intrepid, Concorde and 300m. I was making more money, and I could take<br />off more time to play shows with my band Pezz. Days after starting my new job I<br />got a strange numbness in my legs. I couldn't walk for more than five minutes<br />without having to sit down because of this pain in my legs. I thought it was<br />just because this job was a lot more physically demanding then my last job.<br /><br />After months of tests I was told that I probably had MS but a full<br />diagnosis couldn't be made until I had another symptom within two years.<br /><br />In November of 1998 the numbness in my legs was gone but I could make it<br />come back by bending my neck forward. This would also send a feeling of an<br /><a href="http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/LHermittessign.html">electrical shock to my feet</a>. Just a couple months later in January of 1999, I<br />suddenly got an awful pain in my left eye. It was like being punched in the eye<br />by a ghost. I went straight to my eye doctor; he told me I had optic neuritis.<br /><br />When I told this to my neurologist, I found out that it's very common<br />for people with MS and the disease was progressing. He wanted me to start a new<br />type of medicine. I had to self-inject myself three times a week in the arm,<br />thigh, stomach or butt--and do this for the rest of my life.<br /><br />I<br />practically ran out of the doctor's office and into the stairwell with my<br />girlfriend close behind me. We cried in the stairwell for a while and then went<br />right over to my parents' house. Through all of this madness, I was so lucky to<br />have my girlfriend, who is now my wife and the mother of our amazing daughter,<br />beside me.<br /><br />Coming to terms with the fact that I had to start giving<br />myself needles forever was really hard. A could've of the side effects really<br />hit me once I started the medication. I feel in to a deep depression and started<br />seeing a psychiatrist. I really felt like my life was falling apart. I had<br />always wanted to be a drummer in a rock band but was told I should "take it<br />ease." I remember saying "ya right" in my head: none of my dreams had come true<br />and now I had an incurable disease.<br /><br />It was really rough for the first<br />year and a half but the new medicine started to work. The MS Society of Canada<br />helped me get all the information and tools to get my life back on track. My<br />symptoms were gone, and when they did come back they were just minor set backs.<br /><br />We changed the name of the band from Pezz to Billy Talent and continued<br />writing music. We released a four song EP and got a record deal. I quit my job<br />and started playing drums full time.<br /><br />I guess the reason I'm telling you<br />this is because I didn't let something like MS get in the way of me becoming who<br />I was suppose to become...<br /></blockquote><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Rock on Aaron! Like you, I didn't let MS stop me from becoming who I was suppose to become. <a href="http://www.ent-nts.qc.ca/nts/school.htm">NTS </a>awaits my arrival as does the rest of my life as an actor. Maybe one day I'll write up my story and publish it in the MS journal. Kudos for finding the right girl from the start too. I think I just found mine recently (again). Proper support can't be understated in times of need. And it takes a caring, patient, and understanding individual to stay the course. That's for any chronic illness or disease; it's usually a long tough road to recovery and they have to be just as tough as we are. Finding out how tough someone is is difficult without subjecting them to the same conditions (which I would not wish on my enemies), so a lot of guess work can leave us broken hearted at times. Hooray for complex living.<br /><br />On another note, I've also put together a nice training program. It's very flexible and light and should provide the best results, achieving max effect through min effort. Now I need to get a meal plan together. :) I love food.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13977449.post-1148476968711169752006-05-24T10:19:00.001-07:002006-05-24T06:22:48.726-07:00New ScheduleI change my dosing schedule to be more friendly to my judo training. I'm now taking my needles on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. This also has another bonus side-effect: it totally gives me back my weekends! Bomb! :D<br /><br />Making an appt. today to see Dr. Christians. Have to check and see how my progress on this new therapy is going. I feel pretty good so it much be working but there are still a few instances of sudden loss of thoughts and control. But I handled it. Plus he wants Shauna (being the person who knows me best and is closest to me) to show up with me. I don't know what his plans are for her but we will see. Should be fun.<br /><br />What else... oh yeah.. I have to remember to get some bloodwork done this week. Long overdue. That's about it for Health issues this week.Iain Dughlaishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12730409890503267166noreply@blogger.com2